Monday, October 1, 2012

The Great Purge of 2012

My worlds of crap are colliding.  In my front yard.  In about a week.

That dead rat I grew so fond of so quickly is wearing me out…isn't that how it always is?

She started a firestorm.  Thankfully, not a firestorm of rats, though one was found at the bottom of the deep end of our pool Thursday; another apparent suicide.  I would spend more time on this but it makes me physically ill.  Sincere thanks to friends who tried to assure me the two rats limped their way to our house following ingesting poison at one of our neighbors.  I, on the other hand, subscribe to the idea that we have an entire rat colony living and multiplying under our home. 

The firestorm my little Rescuer started was one of cleaning up and cleaning out!  The Great Purge of 2012 may have started with the simple move of a refrigerator from one side of the garage to the other but it has made its way all the way up to the master closet. 

There, I unearthed several pieces from my Mr. T Starter Kit.  I'm not sure why exactly I jumped on his particular style bandwagon, collecting necklaces, bracelets, rings and earrings galore; and attempting to wear them all at the same time.  I do know that it all started in middle school and didn't seem to end until college, as evidenced by the "old boyfriend bounty" I brought to my neighborhood's version of Cash4Gold Sunday afternoon.  Did you know they have to drill into every piece because of all the gold-plating scams?  And did you know that they take a photocopy of your driver's license because your bounty is photographed and registered with the local police?  As the woman in the shop cut into and weighed my chains, I had visions of my college sweetheart swooping in to stake his claim on the goods.  

Of course I couldn't let go of every piece; some are still very sentimental to me.  My gold signet ring with my old initials ESB.  Another gold ring that I remember going to a jewelry store outside Chicago with my parents to pick out for my 15th birthday.  I have decided to make both of these pinky rings so I can do this (skip to 3:40).  You think I'm kidding…

And the purge continues.  Golf shoes, purses, dog crates (we have one large dog and somehow two large travel crates), home décor items, books, coffee makers, iced-tea makers, pack-n-plays, work-out equipment, pots-n-pans, old bikes...  Jeff and I decided we spent the first half of our marriage buying shit and putting it in a closet, or the attic, or most frequently, the garage.

First stop for the growing pile of unwanted items in my garage: my front yard for the neighborhood garage sale next Saturday. 

Second stop: Goodwill. 

And what do I plan to do with all of the dough from my Cash4Gold visit, you ask?

More rat traps, of course!    

Look at Mr. T "Pitying the foo!" From The A Team to Rocky to Silver Spoons...
I dare you to find an actor with more "range".