Friday, September 7, 2012

Sugar Balls

My son Nicky was home from second grade battling a fever most of this week.  Between his 102 fever, the mysterious bug bite on his neck, and my obsession with national news programming, I had him diagnosed with West Nile Virus well before I even called our pediatrician.  Fortunately, my unique combination of neurosis and paranoia as it relates to every aspect of my children's lives seems to have once again led me astray. 

"It's probably just some virus he picked up at school."  If I had a nickel for every time…

This mysterious virus afforded us a lot of mother-son bonding time.  When I wasn't at my desk, Nicky and I were playing iPad games (a lot), reading (a little), and watching episode after episode of The Mighty B! on Netflix. 

The Mighty B! is definitely my favorite cartoon of all time.  I tried to make Vincie and Nicky watch it with me back in the summer of 2009 when I first discovered it.  I came across it by pure chance while flipping through the channels in the early months of my unemployment.  This was when I was feeling super good about myself and therefore super motivated in general so tuning into programming like The Mighty B! in the middle of the day became a regular activity.  My sons were only 4 then.  They didn't get it.  Watching The Mighty B! again with Nicky this past week was a fun reminder of the many ways in which my sons are developing, even their sense of humor.  Now that they're 7, they're right there with me, giggling away and even referencing particularly funny moments in certain episodes long after we've pressed off on the remote. 

This week, I decided that in some ways the show's leading lady, 10-year old Bessie E. Higgenbottom, helped pull me out of my slump that summer.  She never lets anything get her down.  If she needs inspiration, she beckons The Mighty B, a quite muscular combination of Bessie herself and a bumble bee that exists only in Bessie's imagination.  Bessie also talks things through with her left index finger which also serves as a central character in the show.  So The Mighty B! may or may not be a dish best served with a side of LSD.

Bessie and Finger, figuring out some heavy shit.

I did leave Nicky's side for a few hours yesterday morning to fulfill my 9 a.m. commitment for the next 10 Thursday mornings.  No, I didn't join a gym and hire a personal trainer.  I joined a bowling league.  Wonder Friend conned me into it.  Well, it wasn't really a con; she just called and asked if I'd do it with her and I can't say no to Wonder Friend.  Bowling was far less physical than the gym but I did manage to strain a muscle in my left ass-cheek while attempting to roll a 10 pound ball.

Would I say the bowling experience was a blast?  No.  Witness the lingering pain in my left ass-cheek.  Would I say it was somewhere in the same neighborhood as fun?  Yes.  Did I meet some new people?  Also, yes and that's almost always a good thing.  And I look forward to meeting more new people as the weeks progress.  Like the guy who was attached to the voice on the bowling alley's public address system.  His services include the "drilling and engraving" of new bowling balls after regular league play.  He was a little slice of heaven right here on earth complete with teal-colored tank-top revealing pasty white upper body flesh and thick gold chain.  He was like a real-life Kenny Powers from East Bound and Down and I basically have a standing date with him every Thursday morning for the next couple months.  

Jealous, much?